sharondipity - a journal of surprise discoveries

Portable Patriot

2010-12-10T18:22:00.000-08:00

Upon my recent discovery of the dedicated reading/study task made so simple by the Kindle, I began the process of selling off my hundreds of wonderful books that simply adorn my library but rarely if ever get opened. To facilitate that I had to decide what principles I would incorporate for determining which books I would not sell. That list includes the well marked personal and spiritual growth books that I return to repeatedly for reminders of what I need to be doing next, those books I frequently loan and give out to others, and those relative few that are truly relevant to the areas where I currently focus my time. However, there are some that must be saved for posterity for their primary document value, and Portable Patriot fits that category. Pocket sized and bound with a classical "old" feel, this book includes over 60 18th and 19th century speeches, documents and sermons given by our country's founders.

In a day when history books threaten to be re-written with every new political reign, it gives me security in knowing I have some "absolute" spots to return to for discussions with my grandchildren. The awe in which these great leaders held the awareness of their Creator flows throughout. While pioneering the leaving of the predictable old world for the insecurity of the new, they clearly maintained a semblance of traditional values as they looked to the future. And reading thru repeated themes of patriotism, I can understand how our nation could survive a civil war and come out stronger. For even with the strong differences of opinions over economic foundations, all ultimately had the best of the nation in heart.

This is the kind of stuff that should be required discussions, and many of them, for every generation. It is the kind of stuff I need to insure that I can teach my descendants what it means to be an American.

Rational Thinking Options… Worse with Age?

2010-09-06T08:50:00.001-07:00

My son Matt recently showed me a video by a gal who runs a comparative cognition lab at Yale (http://www.ted.com/talks/laurie_santos.html ). While I don't agree with all her foundations, it did make me think about what we do and in particular why. It would seem that maturity should make us more rational and hence more able to change when we see ourselves acting irrationally, but in actuality the habits formed with age, even much past 10 years of age and definitely past the teens, make change nearly impossible.

In her research Laurie Santos found that when training monkeys to use a form of money as an exchange for food, they would do irrational things that humans also do … ex: overspend when the price went down and hoard. They also discovered some differences in reactions when something was clearly safe versus when there was risk of loss attached. I saw myself in that behavior – where I had always thought I was someone who could take risks, I realized that what I perceived to be risk taking was really based on perceptions I had of safety. That when I thought I would truly lose something very important to me, perhaps someone's positive opinion, I would not take risks. I thought I had grown to the place where I could accept criticism objectively, but realized I only accepted it in areas where I knew I was absolutely right. In those cases I would smile at the criticizer, but if I was insecure about something, the criticism still threatened.

So I set out on a new study of ancient Hebrew proverbs to see what I could learn about wisdom and rational thinking. Are there principles in this book that, if I truly followed them, would allow me to know I was making intelligent decisions in every area of my life? What are those principles? And how to they apply to business, faith, family? Could I, in fact, find enough courage to change in those areas in which I know have resisted? Nancy Dornan says that when an area of one's life is out of balance, it requires radical change to bring it back in balance. There are areas of my life way out of balance – in particular physical and financial. That is my quest these next 90 days – to discover what I need to do to bring them back, to courageously operate with radical changes of wise thinking, and to close 2010 out knowing it was the year of the biggest change ever in my life. And if I can do that, truly I can help others to do the same.

Obstacles Welcome by Ralph de la Vega

2010-05-24T10:03:00.000-07:00

While the content of de la Vega's story is highly inspirational, I would advise anyone reading this book not to give up at the beginning! With this book written by a corporate president (AT&T Mobility), not a writer, I personally found it difficult to make my way thru the somewhat simplistic writing to get to the content, often wondering why a ghost writer or co-writer wasn't employed to tell this story in a more engaging style. I knew the content was valid; I was bored with the reading. However, once I got past the fifth chapter, i found myself eagerly reading, underlining, and finding many applicable challenges to my own life and leadership.

in the end, de la Vega's accounts from the corporate view are applicable for many business minded thinkers. While feeling to me to be borrowed from John Maxwell, his leadership principles are relevant along with his challenges on giving back to the community. Given the global success of the iphone, his final chapter sharing part of that story was a fitting conclusion.

The Deepest Confidence

2010-01-26T08:20:00.001-08:00

6 months ago when I read Proverbs 23 I wrote, "How I need wisdom, discipline, and understanding. How I need my eyes to keep to the way of the heart God has given me. How I need truth that is not compromised – in order to have that wisdom, discipline, and understanding. How I need wisdom to keep my heart on the right path. How I need for my lips to speak with is right … in every area – from meeting strangers and looking for business connections to presentations to building relationships to planting seeds of faith to driving vision and leaders."

Today I would come to God with overwhelming gratitude – that in these recent years of so much introspective doubt, there has come a bit of a peak when I can see where i've been and where I'm going. Of course another valley and subsequent climb lies ahead of me to get to the next peak, but what a relief it is for each of us when we can be reassured we are on track and moving in the direction of God's call on our lives.

While reading the Psalms can be so affirming in this area, due to David's challenges for his very life and temptation to doubt that anointing as a young man where he believed God called him to be king, but his son Solomon was the benefit of so much inherited wisdom that rarely is defeat expressed in his writing directly. On the other hand, the frequent reminders of those "7 abominations that fill the fool's heart" (Proverbs 26:25) are repeated throughout Proverbs, and that must reflect some of Solomon's own personal temptations and defeats. Knowing he has been blessed with such abundant wisdom, it must have been so difficult for Solomon to see these evidences of the fool in his own life – in his own propensity to perhaps focus on external appearances – wives and women, houses and wealth. Also blessed with the call to build the temple, he knew God was with him – but how he struggled with temptation. And in that way, could recognize those around him who also struggled and gave into defeat.

More than anyone, Solomon recognized that wisdom was not dichotomous, but most powerful when all the pieces of the whole synergistically worked together – all those 7 pillars set on the right foundation. What I think, what I feel, what I watch, what I listen to, what I do, where I go, where I came from (inheritance) and attention to where I am going (the ultimate fear of the Lord), they all work together to make me into the wise, discerning, loving, child of God. That knows who to listen to and what to watch, that touches people's lives by reaching out with my mouth, my hands and feet – the person I was made to be.

Quarreling – Absence of Logic

2010-01-21T05:32:00.001-08:00

Solomon talks often about the quarrelsome wife – two references in Proverbs 21 – better to live on the corner of a roof than with a quarrelsome wifek, and second better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome wife. Those are quite some statements for a man who had it all in women, and spoken from the heart of a man which we know typically is much more tolerant with the weaknesses of the woman with whom he lives than the woman of him. The reason why most marriages are broken up by the woman walking away. Unless a man gets involved with another woman, he will rarely walk out of a marriage, though in any culture when a woman can live economically independent of a man, she often will walk away. It may be caused by the man's affair with another woman, but even in that circumstance, there are men who would opt to stay in a marriage and have the outside woman if they could. For them it feels like the best of two worlds.

So thinking about the extremes represented by the corner of the roof (poor, no influence, no comfort) and the desert (hot, lonely, thirsty), and then thinking about the woman that makes life for a man worse than these two illustrations, I was struck with the idea that quarreling is just stupid. It results in nothing. I used to think it was an emotional thing, something to do with the heart. It does usually lead to that, but it's start is just the absence of some brain pathways working correctly., No one wins, and when someone thinks they have won, they have really lost. Last night I made a directional comment to Matt, and he disagreed with me on my sense of direction. I argued, sure I must be right. He pulled up google earths on his phone to check his thinking, proceeded to draw out the illustration, and then close with google earths on my computer so I could see my error. I reluctantly said, "well you win." His immediate response, "No it's not about winning. You just confused me when you were pointing in what you said was the direction of the gas station. I would have never found it."

Rather than arguing, how much better would my attitude have been to have said, "Really? Are you sure? Show me." If he was wrong, we would have both known it, and if he was right, I would have been the teachable, open mind, looking to learn and discern the truth in every setting, without saying a word encouraging him for right thinking. And then, and only then, does everyone win.

What A Difference in a Day (or a few days…)

2010-01-20T06:48:00.001-08:00

6 months ago I read this chapter and wrote of my struggle with changing habits, the feeling that each day's new goals bring some things complete, some things incomplete, that feeling of the Chinese acrobat tossing plates. This constant challenge for significance that each finds in a different way – for some the struggle towards productivity with the temptation to over commit, and in that live a life on constant defeat for all the things not done. For others the compulsive behavior to achieve that in the end always causes sacrifices with family, health, or other relationships. Still others appear to be so over concerned with pressure that they say no to anything that is uncomfortable. How many can live lives of perfect balance, accomplishing what they set out to do, rewarded in one's accomplishments and sense of personal identity?

Consider a clothes closet. It's full, maybe even overfilled. You bring home new homes shoes, dress, suit. There needs to be a place. Too many clothes in the closet crowds everything and causes unnecessary wrinkling at best, at minimum difficulty in finding certain things. Many women have been known to recognize that for everything new they bring home, they must give something away. The closet is relatively easy because it's visible, its contents are measurable, and certainly there is no temptation to believe that the "hanging on" of any particular item is going to make some difference in the quality of one's life over the long term.

But goals, desires, dreams and decisions regarding them are different. They are hidden, subtle, very few of them that shout out to one to be careful today, so many results are delayed. For the good results that delayed gratification is wonderful when it comes, but for the negative results, the consequences pop up subtley and rarely do they carry a reminder card of what sloppy decision was made that caused that consequence. And the tendency for people like me to keep overcommitting is horrendous. I might work very hard to clean up a portion of my life, but then, there I am, without thinking committing to something new. And yet I haven't begun to complete the old goals to which I already committed last month and last year.

I'm sure for many that's the way sin works. Just one more, and I won't need to do this anymore. For me there is a huge difference between my reading this scripture today and 6 months ago. Today I am 3 days into the beginning of a new chapter of my life because I have discovered the power of setting one goal at a time, the discernment to look at my life and recognize what is the single thing I need to change that's will most effect the future. Write everything down I desire to do. Guve credit to God for giving me those desires. Then determine one thing that will make a difference in all the rest. Focus on that until it is a routine habit. For me that was a simple system to take 5 minutes every night to plan the next day, reviewing the current day, and 5 minutes in the morning to write goals for the day, all soaked in prayer. So sleep is productive, overcommitment begins to be identified at the source, rewards come as Day 1 I checked only 1 thing off my list of 11 but it was #1, Day 2 I checked 2 things off the same list of 10 (no new list written), but by Day 3 I was beginning to think differently about my goals and myself. With 5 ½ out of 11 items checked. It seems impossible that was only yesterday – so much has changed in these 72 hours.

And Proverbs 21, what does it say?

Plans

Diligent lead to profit

Haste leads to poverty

Ultimately God's plan wins over all. No other plans, ideas can defeat his. Preparation is in the power of the person, but he alone gives the victory.

Results

Pursue righteousness and love? Receive prosperity and honor.

What is righteousness? Right living and thinking and acting about why God has made me.

What kind of love? Not only sacrificial for others but accepting oneself and affirming God's work in me.

Righteousness also keeps on giving. Blessed to be a blessing.

Work ethic

Feeling good and going for lifestyle "(loving wine and oil)" eliminates wealth

Sluggard's craving for pleasure and certain types of lifestyle kills him because no work with hands. Keeps craving without receiving.

Reinforcers and Detactors

Truth tongue (about oneself as well) brings fortune as predictably as lies (about oneself) destroy it.

Guarding mouth and tongue helps eliminate calamity – power of negative self talk and mouth.

(6 months before…)

They come in pieces, these new habits. When I sit here in the morning feeling confident I can't imagine that everything won't get done. But the steps are still slow. Supposedly I started HP yesterday and while I stayed on a protein diet all day, I accomplished nothing else on my list. We did make progress with the Beida cd, and I finished a few ERRC details, but that's it. I have so far to go. I think I need to focus on Proverbs for a while.

heart , Inheritance, - instinctual, natural habits, thinking, expectations; Mind, - intellect, knowledge; Soul, - feeling, emotions, experience; Eye,- deliberate discipline about what you see, read Ear, - deliberate choices about what you hear, speak to yourself Mouth, - what you speak to others, God, (and perhaps yourself) Feet/hands – actions, where you go, what you do

Proverbs 21 - leadership, marriage, money, planning, learning, sacrifice, inheritance

Wisdom or Folly – A Fine Line

2010-01-10T09:53:00.001-08:00

A pivotal chapter in which Proverbs hangs, Proverbs 9 is short with a narrative format unlike most of the remainder of the book. No pithy similes, here is the simple story comparing wisdom to folly. The call is the same – both call "Let all who are simple come in here," particularly targeting those who lack judgment. Both call from the door of their homes, both homes sitting at the highest, most visible, even most respectable part of the city. From wisdom, the invitation is to come into a beautiful home, where the best banquet has been set and the maids wait to serve. But from folly, the same call is to enter a living cemetery, where the dead await, water is stolen, and food will be secretly eaten. The temptation? The sense of momentary delicious satisfaction that draws the rebellious, the one who thinks that somehow the wise way is just too simple, too boring, too restrictive. I'm reminded of the popular Chinese proverb, "Teachers open the door but you must enter by yourself." ( 师傅领进门，修行在自身.) A better translation might be that "teachers lead you to the open door, but cultivation is within yourself."

So what is the difference? How might this simple, judgment lacking person have the discernment to know who to follow? Folly is loud, undisciplined, and without knowledge. Wisdom, on the other hand, has carefully planned, quietly built a beautiful home, and in particular calls to those who are willing and humble enough to accept correction. How does one both know how to discern the right people to listen to, as well as take responsibility for actions?

I read this chapter 5 months ago when I was facing financial challenges and unsure about work. From that day to the next 3 I was to be attacked by as challenging of a work challenge as I have ever experienced. Until I walked thru that particular challenge over the next 10 days, I would be unable to look at scripture with any degree of understanding. At the time the only thing I could see from here was that humble wisdom accepts mockery, without correction or rebuke. Because in the end the banquet is waiting for those who place a priority on walking in the way of understanding, who are willing to accept teaching, especially when it includes correction and even rebuke. It is those who can experience that fear of the Lord, who can understand some knowledge of the Holy One, who will ultimately be rewarded by their wisdom, even though the way is accompanied by mockery.

The Heart Cannot but Speak and Act

2010-01-07T08:32:00.001-08:00

To change your actions, change your thinking. To change your thinking, change your heart.

Personal growth books teaching the former statement appear in abundance and with a universal message at their core today. The problem is that by the time one is old enough to identify and articulate the growth areas of need, the habits and thinking as well set from childhood, with many development specialists believing that most of what and who we are is formed and set by age 7. So once someone hits 17 or 27 or 37, how can they change?

Proverbs 29 is rampant with warnings about the negative actions that proceed truly almost automatically from the sins of the heart. How difficult it is for someone to identify, when in the midst of a situation, under emotional pressure, the action that is going to be counterproductive to what they really want. Destruction, groaning, snares, anger, mocking, rage and scoff, more anger and downfalls, casting off of all restraints, dissension, fear, dishonesty and dislike. The list goes on.

How many times have we been told "you just didn't understand me. That's not what I meant. I don't know what I said/did that." While giving space for the honest error or the person who is truly trying to change, in most cases actions, especially under pressure, do reflect one's heart. Proverbs 4:23 expresses the source of the heart issue, "Above all else guard your heart; it is the wellspring of life." An indepth search through Proverbs will demonstrate how to do this – how the 6 pillars surround this center post of the heart. No easy answers but truly a lifetime pursuit. Seeking to become the person you were made by the Creator to be. While many of the results of wisdom can be bred into someone thru inheritance, thru teaching and attitudes in one's upbringing while young and moldable, in the end all have issues in the heart that must be recognize, identified, humbly and perhaps repeatedly turned back to God in order to become that person.

Kindness of Correction

2010-01-06T08:22:00.001-08:00

If you don't A S K you won't G E T. Applicable to as many areas of life as "All I Need to Know about Life I Learned in …" Imagine if there were a way to measure the turmoil caused because someone in authority is afraid to teach someone else an important tenet of work or life, afraid somehow of the implications of making the correction. Or just as bad, and perhaps the reason why the first situation is so prevalent amongst many leaders from bosses to teachers to parents, that person in authority doesn't know how to make the correction with love and kindness, and so it does not have the value it could because the emotion that gets attached to the communication looms larger than the actual request, comment, or criticism. How much turmoil then is created because of the people who expect another person to read their mind, to recognize what to them is certainly obvious, or something they believe they said once and that should have been enough. The sad thing here is that all too often someone only thinks they said something aloud once, because they thought it so many times. But in reality they may have never said it, or if they tried, it was disguised in nervousness and other clothing that disguised the true intent.

Reading Proverbs looking for conversations about corrections, discipline, and relationships, an enthusiastic student could find a paradigm here for leadership in mentoring, whether mentoring one's own child, and employee, a student or a friend. Looking at mental wisdom, of the head, one sees pure thoughts, a gentle, thoughtful (non-reactive) tongue, and a humble and happy spirit, especially in areas of correction and discipline. That humility, purity, and thoughtfulness is part of a discerning heart, with humility that keeps seeking knowledge, right living, and God's heart through prayer. The result? True wisdom that spreads naturally because it's believable, it's affirming, and it's consistent with the lives of the people sharing. Isn't that the kind of wisdom every leader would like to impart?

Poverty and Wealth – Curse or blessing? (Pr13)

2010-01-05T07:44:00.001-08:00

Starting what he hopes to be a long life career in financial advising, my son's Christmas request was for books on financial advising. Which books, I asked? Do you have a list? Just find the bestsellers Mom. So after purchasing Amazon's 7 top selling books for financial advising, I found one was missing. The one with God's view on accumulated wealth. What does the Bible really say about money? Drawing a horizontal line, I found lots on the left side of the line (keep nothing, be content where you are, remember how hard it is for rich men to enter heaven) and even more on the right (wealth is a sign of God's blessing on one's life; no wealth? Look inside to see why you are missing God's blessing, all variously named versions of the same old prosperity gospel). I failed to find something in the middle, something I thought would be a balance. Finding one book I thought almost met my goals, I was disappointed to discover the writer had been arrested (though not yet determined guilty) for fraud related charges. So I finally told my son this particular book was not one I could give him yet, but we would have to write it. My gift would be that we meet monthly for lunch to study God's view on money, with the goal thru that study and discussion to produce the content for that book not yet written.

Beginning this study on Proverbs, it was clear that poverty and wealth were underlying themes throughout the book but I wasn't sure where they fit in what I believed to be the pillars of wisdom. Neither convinced that poverty was a virtue nor that wealth was a sign of God's blessing, I didn't find ideas for the poor and rich founded only on fear of the Lord. While knowledge is an important part of becoming wealthy, I know plenty of brilliant people who are poor. Clearly distinctions between poor and rich are far deeper than the desire of the heart alone. Speak the word and you will have it ranked just too close to the fallacies of prosperity gospel in my thinking, looking for wealth seemed too close to the 10^th commandment against coveting, listening to other's experiences about poverty and wealth required too much discernment to know whether or not one was listening to the right people. I did know that inherited wisdom is very closely connected to one's economic stated in life, as the majority of people build their minimums for acceptable living as well as expectations out of those subconscious habits formed during childhood. But I knew enough people who had defied those odds in both directions, for good and bad reasons as well, to know that while upbringing is a powerful influencer of one's economic status in life, it is far from the only thing.

With many references to poverty and wealth seemingly connected to action, however, I began to wonder how this fit in the category of hands and feet. Where does one go to become wealthy? What does one do with the wealth once it is earned or received? While the other pillars all seemed to be ideas that could reinforce one's desire to be wealthy or willingness to be poor, without action that both seeks to earn as well as makes conscious decisions about giving, one is not likely to either develop or maintain accumulated wealth.

Wealth and poverty. Neither God's blessing nor curse, but a choice, a habit, an expectation. One can multiply the value of ether, whether by viewing God as the source of all blessing or searching to be content with what one has. That does not negate the choice in the matter. While there are still verses to be reconciled such as Proverbs13:21 that "misfortune pursues the sinner but prosperity is the reward of the righteous" (perhaps a word study on prosperity will give insight into this often misused thesis) I began to recognize that poverty and wealth are a choice. That choice must result in action. Whether it's action to learn how to live on little or earn more, the action itself is not the godly or sinful thing. The attitudes towards others, the personal desires that determine why one earns and how the wealth is used, the humility that recognizes that all ultimately comes from God, those things determine right thinking about wealth. And more.

Disciplined Decisions

2010-01-05T07:39:00.001-08:00

At first glance Proverbs 7 might appear to be a lesson in sexual morality, even considered fitting by man given Solomon's reputation for wives and concubines. Observing the age-old parenting pattern that our children exacerbate both our strengths and our weaknesses. We might find good reason from David's life to explain what could appear as Solomon's obsession with women, seemingly never enough, never content. But that surface view only misses a much deeper message that shouts loudly thru this story of the young man naively making a deliberate choice to wander down the wrong path, into the waiting arms of the prostitute.

Reading this same scripture 5 months ago, I asked myself who was the prostitute in my life, to whom I could so willingly submit my emotions, looking for gratification in the wrong places? At the time, puzzled over a confusing work situation that I had formerly believed was God-ordained, I struggled with the fear I could again be listening to the wrong people. I questioned my inability to discern between punishment, blessing, or natural consequences. Between prevention or predestination. Aware I could so easily be lulled into the wrong argument by pleasant communication combined with rationalization for behavior. And even then, 5 months ago, reminded of my failure in movement ahead in several different areas in which I had made decisions, so I thought. At the same time I doubted some future direction based on what I thought to be financial failure, which turned out to be an unnecessary doubt. But the fear that this was one more reason for guilt, punishment, natural consequences of lack of discipline in daily decisions overwhelmed me at the time. And I asked the Lord to keep this image of the young man in my mind as a warning, to help me focus my mind on deliberately choosing the right path with each day's simple decisions, with the discipline necessary to say no to the wrong things and yes to the right things on a daily basis.

Today I was impressed more than ever with Solomon's final injunction in this chapter, "
²⁴ Now then, my sons, listen to me; pay attention to what I say. ²⁵ Do not let your heart turn to her ways or stray into her paths. ²⁶ Many are the victims she has brought down; her slain are a mighty throng. ²⁷ Her house is a highway to the grave, leading down to the chambers of death."

It seemed to contain all the pillars of wisdom – My sons – inherited. Listen, pay attention and look, I'm saying these things to you lest your heart as well as your feet turn the wrong direction. I can almost hear him shouting, "Understand what I tell you!" It's not obvious. But it's as old as time and as universal as the spectrum of cultures throughout the world.

Lights, camera, action!

2009-12-23T08:37:00.001-08:00

Reality shows or your own reality? Are we not each making, whether deliberately or by default, a movie of our own lives? And if so, who calls the shots? I would suggest that the process from desire to decision to action is directing the movie of one's life. Whether a study of the brain with all its complicated and miles long neuro- pathways or the newest and best selling personal growth book on the market, there are some universal truths relating to the power of something we can't see or don't even think about when we act. Some call it the subconscious mind. Some call it habit. Most agree that desire alone is not enough to produce life long change. Proverbs calls it the heart. Some have suggested that everything in Proverbs stems from the heart. While I respect the argument, I do believe there are other conscious decisions we can make on a daily basis that, while they are reinforced by the attitudes of the heart, there are opportunities to think about what to do and do the right thing. What to watch, what to listen to, who to listen to, where to go, certain deliberate decisions about what to do. The better habits and routines we have set, the easier to make the right choice. The strong subconscious beliefs one might have, often stemming from good or missing opportunities for inherited wisdom, the more automatically certain decisions and actions will be made.

We often joke about good decisions coming from the disappointing results of bad judgment. Robert Schuler's famous phrase of "no gain without pain" reminds us that it's in those moments of pain where we learn the most. Maybe only in those moments are we motivated sufficiently to do what is necessary to truly change. The change begins in the heart, but must be continued out to the body – to make a conscious decision in the head to do the right thing, to watch the right show, to listen to the right teaching, to say the right thing, and finally do actually use one's hands and feet to do the right thing.

An open and serious study of the 7 pillars of wisdom could result in one's clear recognition of those areas that create the most defeat in his life, and/or the area(s) thru which she could most readily change. Maybe it's temptation of the eyes, or an insecure, proud, or simply habitual attitude that makes listening difficult. For others it might be the quick reactions of the mouth, while for some it might be laziness, even an arrogant attitude about one's one intellect. On the other hand, one might look inside oneself and recognize a well developed skill of listening, and by focusing on listening, begin to change the attitudes of the heart that dominate actions. Another might have an extraordinary willingness or ability to serve, and thru humble service focused on becoming all God's made and called him to be, he might find himself changing attitudes that make those negative knee jerk reactions fewer and further in between. Seek wisdom. God has promised it is there for all who seek. Keep on seeking. Recognize that change comes slowly. Even something that might seem to require a lifetime of change could begin the seeds of another generation with the benefit of a new side of inherited wisdom. In the end the semantics matter not. Whether one calls growth a battle between the conscious and subconscious mind, or between the heart and the head, or habits versus attitude, desire versus action – all growth begins in the same place – with the fear of the Lord, the beginning of wisdom. All growth requires a time period that in the light of eternity is truly short. And God promises results for all who continue seeking. Turn on the lights to reveal the need. Set up the shot to make the decision. Take lots of shots, review the results, and the final action in the movie of a life well lived can fill the screen for all who follow.

Cause and Effect – in Which Life?

2009-12-21T10:31:00.001-08:00

In 1981 Rabbi Harold Kushner published a book that would hit the best seller list for many weeks and remain in print for decades, even recently being available for Kindle. He suggested answers to the question that is as old as creation itself, "Why do bad things happen to good people?" Coming out of personal and unexplainable tragedy himself, he drew his readers to replace the question of "Why did this happen to me?" with the more appropriate and actionable question, "What do I do now that this has happened?" Not why is my life devoid of meaning, but how do I put meaning into my life. Over the centuries most everyone that has come thru tragedy or injustice with a forward looking attitude has practiced this exercise.

Solomon suggests abundant examples of relationships between righteousness and blessing in Proverbs 11, versus evil and ruin. One might think at a first reading the good people always see good things. Examples:

v. 2 – Righteousness delivers from death.

v. 3 – Righteousness of the blameless makes a straight way for them – the wicked are brought down by their own wickedness.

v. 4- Righteousness of the upright delivers them.

v. 5 - The righteous man is rescued from trouble – it comes on the wicked instead.

v. 9 – The godless destroys his neighbor but thru knowledge the righteous escape.

v. 10 – When the righteous prosper the city rejoices; when the wicked perish there are shouts of joy.

v. 11 – A city is exalted thru the blessing of the upright, but by the mouth of the wicked it is destroyed.

v. 13 - The wicked man earns deceptive wages, but he who sows righteousness reaps a sure reward.

v. 19 - The truly righteous man attains life, but he who pursues evil goes to his death.

v. 21- Be sure of this: The wicked will not go unpunished, but those who are righteous will go free.

v. 23 - The desire of the righteous ends only in good, but the hope of the wicked only in wrath.

v. 27 - He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it.

v. 28 - Whoever trusts in his riches will fall, but the righteous will thrive like a green leaf.

v. 30 - The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life.

v. 31 - If the righteous receive their due on earth, how much more the ungodly and the sinner!

Good rewards for good behavior as a basic value system for children in every family, workers in companies, participants in institutions, seems to be suggested here as a biblical promise. So when tragedy strikes, is it the sign of sin or evil? Sometimes yes. But what tends to be missed in these cursory readings and even the prosperity gospel promoters that appear in every generation is that there is no timeline suggested here. It is possible that one's righteousness, for example, might find its reward in the lives of one's children, or even grandchildren. And if that is to happen, one definitely must take on the attitude Rabbi Kushner suggests that the real question is not what caused this, but what do I do with my life that I have now. In the search for that answer, there may be clues to clarify the first question. But whether or not they come, the results to the second question can multiply good upon good in generations to come. And therein lies the greatest legacy anyone can leave behind – a life worth living and one lived for the right purpose.

Who’s talking? Who’s listening? The most powerful talk of all.

2009-12-20T08:02:00.001-08:00

Upon reading Proverbs 10, I was amazed at the attention given to the mouth, tongue, and lips. Wondering how this simple little organ could be so powerful, I was just as surprised that this particular chapter mentioned nothing about listening. Why not? Listening is an active verb. One must take special intent to hear what is being said. To seek the message. But for both good and malicious use of one's own tongue, the speaker doesn't have to actively listen to what is said; herein is the most powerful message that gets into the heart thru the brain and out to the hands and feet.

The popular phrase for this today is "self-talk". Self talk is credited for being one of the most powerful
(perhaps the most) personal growth tools today. Complimentary to Biblical teaching as old as the Jewish wisdom of Proverbs, self talk can be the thing that prevents a sensitive, conscientious Christ follower from becoming all God has for him/her to be. While we would point to verbally abusive parents, spouses, bosses, those of authority in someone's life, we rarely point right back to the individual who is abusing oneself to show them how they are making a conscious choice to create or reinforce this verbal damage, through the mouth that sends the message straight to the ears with any need for active listening.

The New Testament is also clear on this topic. Paul talks about faith coming by hearing, and where is the strongest hearing position? That which comes into my brain in auto mode, without need to pause my attention and listen, those things I say to myself. James talks about the power of the tongue, and why is it so powerful? Because the route from tongue thru ear to brain is a superhighway of highest speeds to the heart. For someone else to say it and me to hear it, I must add this extra step of listening. But for me to say it, listening is not necessary; it happens on auto-pilot. I cannot prevent it.

Other areas of life warn us before moving into automatic mode. Warning: you are about to… this cannot be undone, except for … some dramatic method. Even something as simple as an online lesson planner warns a teacher, before pressing the button to automatically plan lessons for the entire year, that it cannot be undone without deleting the entire class and starting over. But the automatic messages we send ourselves don't have this "pause and think first" message attached – except as we come to believe the truth of the wisdom of Proverbs – that the mouth can do inflict great harm or produce wisdom.

So for those who want to grow in wisdom, herein lies the most effective way to begin and leverage the process. Watch your mouth. Because it is impossible to say something to yourself that does not move to some level of belief. And the damage can only be undone by an equal and opposite comment. But to equalize the damage, that opposite comment needs to be repeated and affirmed multiple times. The faith that affirms wisdom can be grown through the same process as that which denies.

What is the power of talk, whether wise or abusive? Consider just a few from this chapter alone.

Violence overwhelms the mouth of the wicked (v.6,11). A chattering fool comes to ruin (v. 8,10). The mouth of a fool invites ruin (v.14). A perverse tongue will be cut out (v.31). The mouth of the wicked (knows) only what is perverse (v.32).

On the other hand, The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life (v.11) Wisdom is found on the lips of the discerning (v.12), He who holds his tongue is wise (v.19). The tongue of the righteous is choice silver (v.20), The lips of the righteous nourish many (v.21). The mouth of the righteous brings forth wisdom (v.31). The lips of the righteous know what is fitting (v.32).

The message is clear. Perhaps here is the biggest potential area of growth for those who would not have certain benefits of inherited wisdom. The final inning offers opportunity for the grand slam home run. Victory is in sight for all who will adopt this simple discipline into their lives. Easy? No. But simple And available to all.

Everything I Need to Know about Life, I Learned…

2009-12-19T12:29:00.001-08:00

The books with the template of learning everything in one place are abundant. Everything I need to know about life, I learned from kindergarten, a children's book, other women, Peanuts, Mickey Rourke movies, my dog, television, monopoly, my Jack Russell, cartoons, a chick flick, Sunday school, my puppy, little league, boy scouts, my garden, in the college stall, Barack Obama, at home, a race car, the Marines, Jerry Springs, first grade, Jesus, a horse, my kids, on the soccer field, at summer camp, in the bush, watching Star Trek. And they go one. Sports as well as my garden taught me everything about sales, Dr. Seuss taught me everything about presidents, the Bible taught me success. McDonald's taught me business, the pages continue on the search engine for "everything I need to know about life, I learned".

And so Solomon teaches in Proverbs 8 the simplicity of wisdom. Truly it can be learned anywhere where one is willing to learn. Calling everyone, no one is excluded, regardless of whether or not they were fortunate to learn as a young child at the knees of wise and caring parents and grandparents (v.24). A most precious gem (v.10), available even to the foolish (v.5). Eternal (v.23) and omnipresent (v.27), all who follow wisdom are blessed by God (v.35).

Entering through all the senses (v.34) wisdom is the sound (v.24) base for both justice (v.8) and discernment (v.9), as well as discretionary decision making (v.12). It satisfies the heart's deep desires (v.10,17,20).

So there is no excuse. We all can learn wisdom from any area of life where we put our focus. Whether watching a tennis match or struggling through a communication challenge with child, colleague, whether in defeat or victory, whether rich or poor, wisdom is there available for anyone who will follow. I need not apologize to those who were not blessed with wise parents. The challenge it not in knowing what to do, it is in changing the habits that make it easy to do, routine, hard to forget. I wonder how many lives would be different if I truly believed this today.

Discipline – Antidote for Distraction

2009-12-13T10:12:00.001-08:00

Distractions – innocent necessity of life or voluntarily scooping up fire. There are certain of those proverbial sections that seem to, for many, evoke tsunamis of guilt. Proverbs 31 for many women, both other less outspoken portions as well. Proverbs 6 – for those who Joan Webb might say are running on perfectionism and super mom unrealistic and perhaps even unhealthy drives – read it and see no sleep or slumber to be free. Work harder to be wise. Keep trudging along carrying weights like the ant to prevent sluggard tendencies. Commands are a lamp, teaching is a light, discipline (with its corrections) is the way to life. Let these ideas even as you sleep speak to you while awake or asleep.

For many people, the Chinese acrobatic plate show is as close as they feel to discipline. Do one thing great one day, the next ignore it for something else, and if one keeps tossing enough plates enough times, eventually every necessary priority will be touched. Is skill and practice in faster tossing the way to godly discipline? Does this result in better focus on one's god given priorities, or actually less, because of the constant pendulum swing from one area of life to another? Are distractions a necessary evil? Does one's obsession with following the daily plan and ignoring all distractions (with the associated risk of missing meeting a need for family or other close friends) actually eliminate right priorities? Can prioritization of values be mechanized? Or is the problem with the Chinese acrobatic plates that most of the energy goes into hitting the plate away, in such as way it won't crash or break, as opposite to holding it even for a moment to do something special?

Solomon suggests a man who commits adultery does so because of lack of judgment. On a larger sense, adultery can be anything that fornicates my commitment to God's calling on my life. Whereas stealing food can be rationalized to keep one alive and strong so one can follow his calling, even though punishment follows if caught, adultery, with its voluntary lust, destroys any sense of true value. Surely it becomes a daily challenge to seek God's leading for where He wants me today… that in his revelation of that answer wise judgment ensues even as his commands "speak to you" – but it is a foundation that further eliminates the dangers predicted in Proverbs 7 of going down the wrong path at night – to give the rewards described in abundance in Proverbs 8 – a life lived in wisdom, characterized by love, wealth, righteousness, justice, blessing, favor, and long life.

“Derailed” by Tim Irwin

2009-12-06T22:15:00.001-08:00

How is it that some of the best companies, growing companies with ability and resources to pick the best of the best for leadership, still have to fire CEO's? Did they choose the wrong people? What can smaller companies and non-profits learn from this?

Dr. Tim Irwin answers these questions and more in Derailed, by taking a case study of 6 highly talented and capable CEO's that did not make it in companies such as Home Depot, HP, and Lehman Brothers. Through a wealth of examples demonstrating the repeating patterns in what caused the falls of great leaders, Irwin gives real solutions for preventing this type of collapse. Leadership at all levels from the smallest non-profit to the largest Fortune 25 companies could benefit from this fresh approach to development of the kind of character that has enough strength to prevent the repeated problem of power that corrupts.

While my own leadership positions would be light years removed from the influence held by these case studies, I saw my own weaknesses in some of these CEO's weaknesses. I was challenged to grow in all 4 character traits of authenticity, self management, humility, and courage.

Transparent Thanksgiving

2009-11-27T10:42:00.001-08:00

At this Thanksgiving season, we're surrounded with written expressions of thankfulness from many writers, leaders, communicators, friends and acquaintances. Some feel forced, some are preachy, some are light easy reading while a delightful few feel truly transparent. What was it that caused me to react negatively to many that I'm sure were written in the deepest sincerity?

First – preachy. While my life thrives based on my relationship with God and what he reveals to me daily from his word as well as his creation, I find that "preachy" sorts of advice are better received audibly than in writing, perhaps in a face to face gathering where affirming feelings are apparent with the relationship being forefront (i.e. unless the reader has been on a particular search for a certain topic). So I need to balance my expressions of God-given gratitude with the struggle the pilgrims and their native American friends and enemies experienced prior to that first celebrative day. Because it's in the struggle that I find God's outpouring into my life to be the most meaningful to someone else.

Second – forced. Thankfulness. It's a nice topic. As Jim Hawkinson used to say, this is the kind of thing " like apple pie and motherhood", no one wants to be against it. So we ask the question and we who love to express ourselves are quick to communicate. But the answers feel glib. A teacher in China asked her students and they all responded the same, "I'm thankful for family and friends and country," but when the teacher responded with more specific, perhaps transparent reasons she was thankful, the students gasped with open mouths.

Third – light. It's always refreshing to read humor and stories written in a light spirit, but when an article about Thanksgiving is all humor, it too feels contrived – as if the person is covering deeper hurts and vacuums and doesn't want to admit he's really struggling with something for which to be thankful.

Fourth – transparent. Those are the ones we all connect to. Because we've all been there, at the edge of the cliff when we weren't sure if the next breeze would just blow us over, when we couldn't imagine how we would ever get to the other side. And at this holiday season, most people have those areas of struggle, perhaps covered by spiritualizing or clichés or comedy but they're there – and it's in hearing those transparent expressions of gratitude from someone else I am inspired to look more carefully at the good things in my life and be grateful – this day and every day.

And so I am grateful – for surviving the difficult moments, for God's grace and love that sustains me when I think it's too hard, for the people in my life who reach out when I can't reach. For the memories of the difficult times because they give perspective to the present. For the hope of the future, for knowing that if I am privileged to awake one more day that there is hope, there is life, and that the most oft quoted and favorite proverb of many in Proverbs 3:5,6 is still true … to trust in the Creator, to recognize His place in my life, and to be confident that he has set the path for the next step on the edge of the cliff.

Mouth and Tongue: Life or Death?

2009-11-18T08:36:00.001-08:00

About 40% of Proverbs 18 talks of the dangers of the mouth, tongue, words, gossip, and the propensity of fools to use the mouth poorly. A fool delights in airing his own opinions. His lips bring strife. His mouth invites beatings, undoes him, snares his soul. Answering before listening is folly and shame. Gossip words go down to hurt in the depths of ones being. A rich man can answer the poor harshly. The tongue has life and death power – and those who love the tongue will eat its fruit.

So how can the mouth be used well? Spoken words are deep waters. Compared to wisdom, a bubbling brook, deep waters bring resources to drink and a home for sea animals and spawning spot for omega 3's, but they can also be a risk for drowning. Again the analogy is well made for where do we drown ourselves quicker, easier, without a moment's thought, than thru our tongue? How many times have we had to say, "I'm sorry; I just didn't think…" On the other hand, thinking too long can lose the opportunity for a right word spoken at the right time.

Fromt his chapter one could conclude the only safe use of the mouth is in eating. "From the fruit of his mouth a man's stomach is filled; with the harvest from his lips he is satisfied." (v.20) The mouth is the pipeline for nutrition to the body. In the same way it can be the pipeline for nutrition to the soul, both through the right things I might say to myself, as well as the right things I say to others. Physical as well as emotional satisfaction come thru this opportunity. Might I keep my heart and mind focused seeking the next opening to use this God-given power for good.

Whose plans?

2009-11-17T07:49:00.001-08:00

Reading through Proverbs 16, I'm surprised to find a new theme that hasn't yet come in my reading – that of planning. Initially I don't find it fitting easily into any of the 7 pillars I've identified, unless it's the head. It makes me wonder if this is an underlying issue for many – we don't have confidence we can plan in godly ways, or the ideas of dreaming/goal setting/ planning have become so intertwined today with prosperity gospel, that even we who do believe in planning as a core priority of our lives become concerned that we not become "new-agish" about it – but give the credit ultimately to God – out of an intimate, dynamic personal relationship. Looking more closely, however, I see most of those "plans" are connected to the heart, and certainly plans must begin in the heart in order to over to move through the head and brain to hands and feet.

I'm reminded of a comment of Gary Gaddini's that went something like "in our fast pace the lines between grace and legalism become blurred as we bounce between the two". Planning can begin in the heart, based on good instruction and understanding, but at all times we must remember the last axiom of this chapter, that every decision is from the Lord, and therein lies perhaps the truest fear of the Lord. If I live my life in true fear of the Lord, I can trust that the line between His plans and my plans is erased, as I daily and momentarily slow down to recommit to Him.

The Power of Attention

2009-11-14T14:16:00.001-08:00

Book Review: The Noticer by Andy Andrews

Master story teller Andy Andrews combines the best of personal growth teaching, including Chapman's 5 Love Languages, in an Og Mandino style. Jones, a symbol of Jesus, with the ability to relate to anyone from any background in any culture and language, with an understandably supernatural knowledge of one's past, quietly changes the lives of hundreds of people in a small gulf coast beach town by noticing them – caring – establishing rapport – listening = encouraging – guiding – casting vision.

With poignant stories from the homeless orphan living under a pier to the wealth businessman who does not know how to love his wife, these examles demonostrating how toserve others humbly yet powerfully, kept me captivated in one sitting. Personally challenged myself to be more transparent in my own communication as well as to listen more carefully to the cares of people closest to me, this could easily be my favorite modern day parable for becoming all we were made to be. Challenged by Jones' style and persistence in sticking with someone long enough to get to the core of the problem, I found myself anxious about note taking in order to remember as many dialogues as possible. The book includes guidelines for personal or small group study as well, with intergenerational connections from adolescent to antediluvian.

Purpose Beyond Pain

2009-11-14T11:28:00.001-08:00

A Book Review: Finding Purpose Beyond Our Pain, by Paul Meier, MD and David L. Henderson, MD

Expecting a contemporary Paul Tournier, this book being written by physicians, I was initially disappointed that Meier and Henderson didn't discuss physical pain, focusing instead on what they define as the 7 universal struggles (injustice, rejection, loneliness, loss, discipline, failure, and death). Beginning reading somewhat mechanically, I found myself unexpectedly fully engaged by the second section. Seeing myself relatively strong emotionally, I was moved by how often I found myself in this book. Before reading this I would have suggested the bigger publishing need to be modern day references for people of faith dealing with physical pain, but having read it, I will refer others here often.

The lifelong psychiatric experience of the writers has given them a wealth of real life stories with which I believe any reader would find connection, either thru living out that current aspect of pain, having overcome in the past, or being close to people today struggling in that area. The Biblical examples demonstrate that anyone can experience any of these issues, no matter how spiritually strong or successful. Nor did the examples risk the offensive cliché in suggesting every pain has a purpose, but rather there is purpose bigger than the pain. The section conclusions guide the reader to practical steps for overcoming, both immediate "to do's" and spiritual/psychological introspection.

When the Habits Come Together

2009-11-09T06:59:00.001-08:00

Personal growth is largely a function of replacing bad habits with good. Replacing bad habits with good is largely a function of many setbacks with the vision that getting up and pursuing towards the goal is worthwhile, even when results cannot be seen. When it appears that defeat is all that is obvious. Vision and setbacks. Desire and disappointment. Writing things down and forgetting to read them again. Wanting to share with those close for affirmation but experiencing misunderstanding and even criticism from people who count. When the breadth and depth of the vision at hand is just too narrow and shallow to recognize what really might be happening.

David Dornan says do one intentional thing each day for your business. John Maxwell says do 5 intentional things each day towards your dream. Setting new goals guarantees new battles to fight. The enemy does not want me to become all God made me to be. Waves of self doubt accompany the immediate appearance of defeat. Who did you think you were that you could accomplish that? Or that you should accomplish that?

But continuing on brings those moments when one can see it starts to come together. The heart is overtaken with warmth, personal intrinsic reward. Some might want to shout "Look; I did it!" A more melancholy personality might be content to just check the progress off the list. Many might just be delighted to pause for a moment and thank God for not giving up on them. Leaving the bed this morning I had one of those moments – when I remembered the warm heart with which I went to sleep. I had to think back to what caused that warmth? The book I was reading? Something Bob said to me? Was it something sitting on my night stand? Then I remembered. It was the last thing I did before going to bed – looking at my list I had carefully printed that day of things to do. 9 things on the list, initially for the weekend. 5 things were crossed off. I couldn't remember when in many years I had actually made the list and finished the day with over 50% of the items complete. And the list that morning was actually intended for Saturday and Sunday combined, so I still had a day to finish.

Proverbs 4 closes with a summary of how all those things come together in wisdom that begins with the fear of the Lord, and sit solidly on all pillars.

¹⁸ The path of the righteous – (founded on the fear of the Lord? is like the first gleam of dawn, shining ever brighter till the full light of day. ¹⁹ But the way of the wicked is like deep darkness; they do not know what makes them stumble.

²⁰ My son, pay attention to what I say; listen closely to my words. ²¹ Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; ²² for they are life to those who find them and health to a man's whole body.

²³ Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

²⁴ Put away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk far from your lips.

²⁵ Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you.

²⁶ Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm. ²⁷ Do not swerve to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil.

Fear the Lord – walk on that path – listen to his words – keep them in your sight and heart – guard your heart – control your mouth – keep you eyes looking straight ahead – make level paths for your feet and keep moving straight ahead, no swerving, it leads to evil. Out of a solid and intimate relationship with God comes direction. I fear, he speaks. I listen, he moves my heart. My responsibility to recognize the voice – write it down and keep it in my sight – control my mouth and speak only what glorifies that voice – and keep focused day after day to eliminate leaving the path.

“Vision Leaks”

2009-10-28T07:56:00.001-07:00

Sitting with her listening to her sincere questions, helping her into some new understandings of how to get where she desired to go, inspired by her teachable attitude, I was disappointed when a few weeks later I realized nothing had changed. What did I do wrong, I would wonder. What did I forget to tell her?

There was the couple I met in their home, challenging them to learn to dream again, to believe they were truly made for a bigger purpose than what that to which their current lives would attest, they wrote goals, they laughed and smiled together, I left them with "homework" and next steps. But when I returned a few days later it was as if that other moment never took place. I battled the temptation to overthink, go into some analysis, wondering what I should have done differently.

And me. How many times have I experienced a mountain top retreat experience, pulled away from the deadlines and disappointments of daily living, listened to God speak, experienced growth in my personal faith, inspired to new direction, only to return home to the bills and water leaks and all the normal crises of day to day living, and realize merely a few days later I had all but forgotten about that new sense of direction.

Having experienced this so many times myself, I would be amazed that in someone else's presence, I could actually encourage them into new dreams. Why then would it surprise me when a few days later they had forgotten them as well?

John Maxwell said it, while teaching about his book on dreams, "vision leaks". It's not that I should have done something differently, or even that my personal presence might be powerful (but not powerful enough to maintain the commitment); it's just that the pipes that carry the seeds of dreams do not have tight, predictable fittings. Just going thru the process of life, the vision leaks out thru the cracks, and dreams are so easily forgotten.

Solomon understood this as well, or he wouldn't have written a whole book saying much of the same things over and over but in different words, sometimes the same words. It doesn't have to be a mountain top retreat from which my vision falls; it can be simply a conversation with someone else when a fresh commitment to change, to growth, to becoming is made. It becomes incumbent on me that if I become the listener to another person's new commitment, I need to warn them of the leaky pipes, and give them tools to keep the dream flowing.

The wisdom Solomon espouses in Proverbs is filled with warnings to prevent leaking vision. Recognizing these principles that begin with the fear of the Lord, teach how to keep one's mind and heart sensitized to wise living, ongoing learning and input thru eyes and ears, reinforcing through the spoken word and action that is accomplished through hands and feet, the power of all multiplied through those precepts of wisdom one learns from childhood… these are the requirements necessary to for one to hold onto vision.

Game’s Over

2009-10-27T04:04:00.001-07:00

Clear air, balmy skies, warm temperatures, ocean views – an enviable day to relax watching great tennis. Matt had entered this particular tournament as a last minute idea, discovering he would be in the area with weekend days to spare, he called the referee and found that yes, one man had withdrawn so there was an open spot in the draw and he could have it. "Don't seed me too high," he requested, "I haven't played any tennis since injuring my ankle 6 months ago." He walked out the door wondering how he would compete against the younger junior champions and we reminded him of studies that had been done demonstrating that with this mental game of tennis, there are times when brains (i.e. maturity) wins over brawn (youth).

He played well, truly having matured from those junior days when a lost point would cost him several lost points with his negative self talk and mental abuse over what he perceived to be an unnecessariy lost point. How delightful it is for a parent to watch a son or daughter play tennis when they have grown beyond those pendulum swings of youth.

Into the finals he competed and went on the court to play another young man about his age but who had been playing much more competitive tennis recently. It truly showed in his opponent's serve. Multiple aces, excellent returns, he was hard to beat. First set was lost in a close tie break. Second set was won by a close margin, and the third set went into a continuous tie. 1 all, 2 all, 3 all, 4 all. At 4 all the score went to deuce. Ad in, deuce. Ad out, deuce, Ad in deuce. And so on. 12 deuces. Finally Matt's opponent got his 3 consecutive points to win the same. Matt serves at 4-5 and wins his serve, tieing the score again. Five all. Opponent serves, the man with the great serve. He's served many aces in this match and so far only broken once by Matt, in the second set. He loses the first point to 2 bad serves, then the second, then the third. This has never happened in this match, losing 3 consecutive points in one service game. Then the 4^th, one more unforced error, this game is over, he's now down a game and Matt will serve. As he walks to the bench for his cross-over break, he mumbles, "this match is over." They change courts for the last game, Matt serves, and the opponent returns 4 bad balls. The game is over, the match is over As a spectator, though, I felt badly for the loser because the losing game didn't need to end the match. The match was lost in his mind after 3 consecutive bad serves. A highly talented player, who had played with great focus and positive attitude all through the match. During most of the match it would have appeared he had the edge. As this match drew to a close after 3 hours of play, he was certainly tired but both guys were equally tired. The one who would win was the one who would not give up focusing on the single next point, the single next ball. As long as there's another ball to be played, the game's not over.

Someone asked Michael Chang once how it was he could so often come from being far behind in a match and win. He said it was because he knew how many times he had been ahead and lost – so he knew if his opponent could come from behind to beat him, he could do the same to someone else. John Maxwell said, "All things being equal, attitude wins. All things not being equal, attitude sometimes still wins."

How much of everything in life that is important to us do we miss because we give up too early, or because we think the victory has something to do with outside skills or talent or resources, when it is inside us? Solomon asks, " ²² "How long will you simple ones love your simple ways? How long will mockers delight in mockery and fools hate knowledge? ²³ If you had responded to my rebuke, I would have poured out my heart to you and made my thoughts known to you.

²⁴ But since you rejected me when I called and no one gave heed when I stretched out my hand, ²⁵ since you ignored all my advice and would not accept my rebuke, ²⁶ I in turn will laugh at your disaster; I will mock when calamity overtakes you- ²⁷ when calamity overtakes you like a storm, when disaster sweeps over you like a whirlwind, when distress and trouble overwhelm you."

Truly the answers are inside us, in the wisdom that is made available to all, if we don't give up seeking. If we know that the solutions are there, not in outside resources or talent or history or even influence, but in seeking the next answer, keeping one's eye on the next ball, and when/if it is missed, knowing there is another one coming. 3 unforced errors in a row, while they might temporarily change the edge of the game, do not in themselves predestine the end. While it's harder to climb up from a deeper place in the pit, it's never impossible for those who keep their mind and heart focused on the next ball to come, staying confident in knowing that the solution is findable. ²⁰ Wisdom calls aloud in the street, she raises her voice in the public squares; she cries out, in the gateways of the city she makes her speech: and ³³ whoever listens to her will live in safety and be at ease, without fear of harm.